The Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick

As I continued on in this terrible abyss of depression, from which I could not seem to emerge, I asked my friend, Father Tom, if he would take the time to listen to me on Wednesday night after Mass and confessions. I had not told him of my depression, because I didn't want to cry on his shoulder again. He has lovingly listened to me several times before. After Mass I availed myself of the sacrament of confession and I reluctantly confessed that I had contemplated taking my own life last month. It was very hard to speak these words, even behind the screen of the confessional. I thought it was probably the worst sin I had ever confessed. But, in his usual manner, Father reassured me that Jesus loves me more than I could ever imagine and drew me a mental picture of how great that love is for me. I felt better immediately. He once again absolved me from my sins. After all the people had confessed and left, we began to talk in the empty church, only to the light of the tabernacle candle and the lights surrounding the Christmas creche. It was dark, quiet and very beautiful. I explained the whole depression situation to Fr. Tom and the details of my suicidal thoughts that night in December. I cried. This priest is always amazing. I expressed my feelings of letting God down by having to depend on a counselor and medications. I told of my feelings of being so alone and not wanting to burden others, even my good friends, with this my current life situation. He assured me that God was not disappointed in me. He said God was no more disappointed in me than He would be if I were taking medication for diabetes or for cancer; that this is a real true illness and needs to be taken care of. He also told me that I should be talking to a friend or two and asking for their feedback and help; not keeping it pent up inside. For one day, those very same friends would be turning to me for advice and comfort. That's what friends are for, he reassured me.

I then asked if he could anoint me for this illness, since it was so debillitating at the present time. It was causing a lot of havoc in the family, particularly since they do not understand this type of mental illness, as is true of many people. He replied immediately that he would be happy to anoint me. So right in front of the Christmas creche, he gave me the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick. It was very beautiful and holy. I am thankful for my friend, Father Tom. He is a holy man. He loves serving God through serving His people, whenever asked. His joy is to say the Mass and to give the sacraments to others. He lives his vocation 24 hours a day. It is not just a job for him, it is his life's vocation. We are so blessed to have him at our parish. He never complains when asked to serve the sheep in his care. We all love him so dearly.

When I awoke the next morning, I felt one hundred times lighter, as if a burden had been lifted from me. I felt happy and joyful. I praised God all day long and felt as if it was a new me. I knew the Sacrament of the Sick had done something miraculous to me internally. The next day I felt the same way, and most of the day today, as well. Although I know I am not entirely through the depression, I know God has given me a great lift along the way to my healing. The graces I received through the sacrament were many. Thank You, Lord Jesus, for the many gifts you bestow upon me. Amen.