Use Me, Lord

Lord Jesus, if ever I can be of use to You, even in the slightest way, then please use me. If my eyes can be of use to see someone who needs help, needs a friend, or just needs a smile, then use my eyes to see that someone. If my ears can be of use to hear the plea of a poor person begging for food, to hear the cry of a lonely elderly person, or to just listen to someone who needs a compassionate ear, then by all means call upon me to use my ears to hear for You. If my hands can hold a love-starved child, or if they can wrap a warm blanket around a shivering homeless person, then direct me to this opportunity, Jesus. If I can but fix a simple meal and serve it in a soup kitchen, or if I can fold my hands in prayer offered for someone struggling with emotional pain, then by all means call me to this, Lord. If my lips can whisper a prayer for someone who so badly needs my intercession, or if they can say comforting, kind words to another one who has only heard harsh criticism and hateful words, then let my mouth proclaim Your love O Lord. Use me, Lord. I desire nothing more than to be Your simple disciple. For You said, "Whatever you do to these least brethren of mine, that you do unto me." I desire to treat each of my human brothers and sisters as I would treat You. I want to love them, Lord. Give me Your complete and holy love for all men. Amen.

Mary's Pain for Jesus Her Son

Recently two of my daughters have suffered tremendous pains in their lives. I do not wish to share what they each went through, but, as a mother, I cried right along with them, and even by myself, spent time in tears, crying because the pain they suffered emotionally, was so great for them to bear. One night last week, my husband and I drove up north on our way to vacation, and spent the night in one of my daughter's apartment. She had recently suffered a very painful situation in her life. My husband slept on the couch and I slept in the bed with my daughter. She came home after we had gone to bed. When she came home it was very late and I pretended to be asleep so she wouldn't feel she had to talk to me that late at night. She cried herself to sleep. I felt her body wracked with emotional pain shake and shudder with crying for a good half hour before she finally fell asleep. I put my arm around her to comfort her and just held her. Tears ran down my cheeks as I silently held my 28-year-old baby and wept for her. She felt so small and helpless in my arms. I knew I could do nothing to ease her pain. It was such a helpless feeling. I could only silently offer prayers to God to ease her pain.

The other daughter is expecting her first baby and found out some unfortunate news about future pregnancies for her husband and her. She called me on the way home from the specialist today. She, too, was in tears. I offered her words of comfort the best I could, but, when I hung up the phone, I also wept for the hurt I felt for my child. Again, I knew I was helpless in this situation and only God can help them.

It gave me the chance to reflect on Mary, only one day after the Feast of her Assumption into Heaven. I thought of how miniscule these hurts of my own children must seem to Mary, who wept at the foot of the cross after witnessing the near-death beating of her only son at the hands of cruel and savage Roman soldiers. I recalled how she had witnessed the hideous crucifixion of her "baby," who was guilty only of proclaiming the truth to the world. I thought of how she must have ached so while watching Him hang on the cross for three grueling hours while people laughed and ridiculed Him. She, too, could do nothing to take away His pain. How helpless she must have felt. She must have felt an ache to her innermost being. How dreadful this must have been.

Mary certainly knows my pain when I hurt for my own children. She is the one true mother of us all. I will offer my prayers for my children to her and ask her to ask Her son to lighten the burden of my children even just a little bit. I know she will answer this prayer because she has the heart of a mother who has suffered for her child. I thank her for being my beautiful and holy mother. And I thank Jesus for giving her to me on the cross.

Bring Comfort to Others

Many times in our lives we suffer from emotional hurts. These hurts can be worse than any of the physical hurts that we suffer from time to time. They can be devastating. When Jesus said to love one another, I believe that He intended us to come to the comfort of others in their times of need when they are hurting emotionally. One cannot pinpoint an emotional hurt. One cannot say, "Touch here and the pain will go away," or "Just say this and the emotional hurt will vanish." Emotional hurts can be so deep that they can scar us for a lifetime. Sometimes time will heal, or new situations will help to heal. God only knows why He allows these hurts to enter our lives. He must have a reason. When we go through these times, we can be assured that Jesus is right there with us, bearing our pain with us, agonizing with us. He is never absent as it so often feels.

We must lean on Him. We must put our trust and faith in the true fact that God knows what is best for us and He will heal the wound and lead us to what is best for us. We have to trust and to keep heading in God's direction for us. It is difficult, but, so was Jesus' agony and death. If we follow Him in all things, our reward will be great. This was His promise. My suggestion if you know someone suffering, is to be there, listen, offer your love and most importantly, pray for that person. God knows they are suffering. And God loves them all the more in their weakness. He came not for the stong, but for the weak.

The Most Holy Trinity

We celebrated the feast of the Most Holy Trinity yesterday at Mass. I contemplated this again today while I was praying after receiving the Eucharist. What a marvelous God we have; to present Himself to us as One God in Three Persons, such a mystery to behold. We have a Father, mighty and loving, always ready to embrace us with His fatherly love; ready to listen and forgive; waiting for us to approach Him and tell Him all our thoughts, concerns, troubles, cares, and just to talk to Him, our dad. He loves us immensely as any Father would. He loves us so much that He gave us His only begotten Son so that we might live.

We have the Son, given to us out of the Father's love; the one who took upon Himself the transgressions of all of us; the one who willingly and on His own gave His life in a most painful and hideous manner, so that we would gain eternal life. He went in our place. He took the punishment in our place. He sacrificed everything out of His total and unparalelled love for us. I scarcely can imagine this without shedding a tear of gratefulness.

And we have the gift given from the Son, the Holy Spirit; our consolor, the other Advocate, the Paraclete, our helper. He gives us the prayers; He speaks for us; He nudges us and awakens in us the Spirit of Life. He is the one that directs us, leads us, guides us, whispers to us, calls us forth to action in our faith life.

Three in one. One in three. The Holy Trinity. Praised be Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

Tony

My father-in-law's name is Tony. He is 88 years old. All his life he has been known for being the life of the party. He always had a joke to tell. Some of his jokes we heard every year for thirty years, yet they always seemed funny because Tony told them. He was always loud and very talkative, even if he didn't have anything important to say. Sometimes it was annoying, but, we just put up with him because that was his personality. Most people thought he was great fun. He was pleasant and everyone remembered Tony for his outgoing and fun personality.

Tony was recently moved from the assisted living part of his retirement home to the nursing home part because he can no longer take care of himself and is suffering from dimentia. He no longer answers his phone, so we cannot talk to him on the telephone. This past weekend many of us traveled to Iowa to attend our nephew's wedding. My brother-in-law and his wife brought Tony along for the opportunity to visit with family members with whom he doesn't often get to visit, including our family.

I was very saddened to see Tony in his current state. I haven't seen him for more than a year. He looks very frail and skinny. He continually stares blankly into space and does not converse with others unless spoken to first. His dimentia causes him to think that everything that someone says to him they just said previously, so he gets angry when someone speaks to him because he questions why they say what they say when they just said the same thing. It's best not to argue, but, just to agree.

He doesn't watch tv anymore either, because he thinks that what is on tv was just on. He gets very frustrated with that. It is difficult to speak with him. I asked him if I could take his picture and he was irritated because he told me I just took his picture.

Old age is a sad time in life. The body breaks down. The mind breaks down. People go back to a babylike state where they require care like a child. They are confused. They are dependent on others. I am certain that a part of our purgatory is lived on earth at this time in life. I also believe it is purgatory for those who observe their loved ones in this stage of life, for it is a form of suffering.

We must remember always to keep the elderly in our prayers. We must also remember to keep them in our care.

The Gift of Healing

God is nourishing my gift of healing. I have been learning from several people blessed with this same holy gift. I listen, I pray, I give myself over to God, and I wait for Him to send those to me whom He wishes me to lay hands on. Recently, two new people have been brought to my attention. I was called by a good Catholic friend who knows of my gift, to pray over a young woman in need of spiritual healing because of a situation in her life. I truly felt the presence of the Holy Spirit when I prayed with her. I do not know the outcome of the prayer, but, I know God heard the prayer, and that whatever the outcome, she knows that God loves her and she is in good hands. I made it perfectly clear to her that He is the divine healer, not me. I told her I am only the vessel through which He chooses to work. I never deserve nor want recognition or praise. God is the one to whom all glory is to be directed.

The second person I was asked to pray over is a young woman who suffered from an accident in Italy that left her unable to walk and in very much pain. I have not gone to pray with her yet, but, if God chooses to use me in this case, then may His holy will be done.

Already one woman was healed of cancer by God, through the prayer and laying on of my hands, and a priest was healed of a nasty illness. Either one would attest to this. But, I do not ask them to shout it out. Only to thank God for His healing. I was only a conduit through which He chose to send healing power. Another woman was healed of very upsetting anxiety she had been suffering for months due to a personal situation in her life. We prayed over the telephone and she immediately felt the burden leave. When she was thanking me, I again reminded her that it was only God who needed the thanks, not me.

Each time I attend Holy Mass I continue to lift in prayer Fr. Antonio, Karim, Charbel, my new friend from Lebanon and a few others who need healing from God. These are the ones whom I desire most to receive God's mercy and love through His spiritual and physical healing. Every time the sacramental gifts are changed into the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord, Jesus Christ, I offer the healing prayers for them at that very moment. This is a powerful time. Christ enters in and becomes one with us, once again, as He did at the Last Supper. He reminds us of His promise to be with us always, until the end of time. This is when I ask Him to heal those who are close to my heart.

A Baby is Saved

Tonight I attended a baby shower. You might think this is not unusual. However, this baby's mother, Samantha, was originally going to abort her baby. Samantha is only 19 years old. She had a previous abortion. The father of the baby is the same one who fathered the other baby who was aborted. He wants Samantha to abort this one, too. He doesn't love her. He abuses her sexually, verbally and emotionally. He merely uses her for his own sexual pleasure, as is evidenced by the fact that he doesn't want anything to do with the life he has created with Samantha.

Samantha comes from a broken home. Her own mother lives in Wyoming. Sam was living with her sister and her father until two months ago. At that time, when she was considering abortion, my friend Barb found out through someone who knew Samantha's
mother, that this girl needed help. Barb called Samantha and lovingly counseled her about the life growing within her womb. Barb is a sidewalk counselor and has had some success in talking women out of having abortions in the past. Samantha was willing to listen. Barb also got on the phone and called many of her pro-life friends and asked them to get as many people as possible praying for Samantha to change her mind and to carry the baby to term. She lined up a couple of people willing to adopt the baby as well. Samantha agreed to think about it. She was afraid that her father would beat her up if he learned that she was pregnant.

A couple of short weeks later, Samantha moved in with a very loving family who agreed to let her stay with them for awhile while she got her life in order; including cutting it off with her abusive boyfriend and making important decisions for herself and her unborn baby. This family showed her a lot of love and support.

Through many continued prayers and the love and kindness showed by this family and the Catholic community that supported her, including the youth group she joined and made friends with, she decided to move out west to Wyoming and be with her mother for support. She also decided to keep the baby herself and be responsible for the life she is carrying within. She's not yet ready to take the leap of faith and return to her Catholic roots, but, she has now had the example of this wonderful Catholic family to remind her of God's love for the rest of her life.

Tonight they held a baby shower for her. She's been living with them for two months. She received gifts from some people she hardly knew, including myself. She received loving cards and gifts from members, both male and female, of the youth group, from the religious sister from our parish, and from relatives and friends of the family who took her in, and from Barb. We ended the shower by praying a decade of the rosary together, and by offering prayers for Samantha's welfare and safe travels to Wyoming. Not only did she receive material gifts for herself and her baby, but, more importantly, she received gifts of love and prayer, far greater than she would have ever known, had she decided to take the path she originally planned to take when we all first heard of her. Thank you, Jesus, for surrounding Samantha with your love and protecting her with the prayers of the community whom you placed her in.

Happy Easter

Alleluia, the King has Risen from the Dead!! Let us Rejoice and be glad for this is the day that the Lord has made. Christ has conquered sin. He has loosed the bonds of Adam's sin. He has freed us from our bondage. By His stripes we are healed. And they recognized Him in the breaking of the bread. Weren't their hearts burning within as He opened the scriptures to them? Celebrate and rejoice now. Shout it from the housetops. Jesus Christ is risen from the dead. Let us rejoice!!

Our Spiritual Gifts

When we flaunt our spiritual gifts we are no better than the pharisees who wanted others to see them praying out in the public, or wanted others to see them gloomy because they were fasting. If God gives us special graces and gifts, they are to be used for the building up of the Kingdom on earth; the Church. No one should ever point to themselves with pride and say to others, "Look what God has done for me today. I am so special. He gave me this gift or that gift." Let the one who is gifted use the gift for the glory of God quietly and humbly. This is how God will be glorified and this will be pleasing to God.

Father Aniello

At the weekend conference that I attended on the weekend of April 9th, Fr. Aniello had invited me to call him so I could have a conversation with him where we could have time for discussion. I called him this afternoon and to my surprise we spoke for two hours. I did most of the talking, giving him my background and filling him in on my walk with God, my spirituality, etc. My reason for wanting to talk to him was mainly to get his input on the gift of healing, because this is the gift I have been discerning for ten months. It is a relatively new gift, and I am open to whatever God has for me, yet I am a little apprehensive and a little bit afraid since I am a mere human. This is of course normal, according to my spiritual director and Fr. Aniello. But, one must always understand that God is the divine healer and man is merely the instrument, or conduit, through which any healing may or may not occur.

Father Aniello told me that I need not say anything when I lay on hands. I can even let God entirely say the prayer. All I need do is lay on the hands. But, I must have the disposition, and the true belief and faith that I ask for this person whatever is the will of the Heavenly Father, not what is my own will for this person. I must never put my will before the will of the Father. I am not the healer, only God is the healer. I already knew and understood this. But, I was glad for his telling me this.

He also told me that when he does healing services and healing prayers and lays hands on someone, only 15% of the time is someone healed physically at that moment. The rest of the time, the healing does not take place just then, as the person expects. This can be for a number of reasons. First of all, it may not be God's time for healing. God may fully intend to heal this person physically, but, just not at that time. Secondly, the person may be holding unforgiveness in his heart and until this is gone, healing cannot occur as he hopes. Thirdly, God has something different in mind for this person that is for greater glory for that person or for someone else. We must trust that God always knows what He is doing and that He knows what is best for everyone. He knows and loves everyone more than any human could ever love someone, so He understands our compassion and desires for that person, but He has the best in mind. The very best! Sometimes He just has to say "no" to our prayer as it is. We have to trust. He is asking us to trust.

I will speak again to Fr. Aniello on the phone and he invited me to visit him in Wisconsin some time in the near future. I will be happy to meet with him and discuss more with him. He has much knowledge to share with me. God is good!!

Father Aniello Salicone

I had the privilege of attending a Catholic conference in Chicago this past weekend with two of my friends. All of the speakers were very good. It was as if I received a shot in the arm and a boost in my faith. I came away from the weekend enthusiastic and ready to again proclaim my faith from on high.

Perhaps my favorite part of the conference was the holy Mass on Sunday. The main celebrant was Father Aniello Salicone, a Xavierian priest from Franklin, Wisconsin. I had been to one of his healing services before when Karim was with our family. I took Karim to Father's healing service in 2009 because I had hope that God would heal Karim of his disease. This was not in God's plan at the time, as I found out.

Right before communion, when Father Aniello raised the consecrated host to say, "This is Jesus, the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world; happy are those who are called to His supper." He smiled, looking at the host and said, "I wish you could all see what I see. It is so beautiful. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you." And then he continued on with Mass. After Mass, the conference host invited Fr. Aniello back to the microphone and asked him what he had seen in the host. He replied that he had seen the holy face of Jesus in the host. It was a gift from Jesus to him. We were all amazed. This priest has received inner lucutions from Jesus since early in 2000. What great gifts Jesus gives him.

I also liked his explanation before the healing service. He explained that before his healing services, many people come excited and happy, yet he sees many go away sad and downcast after the healing services. He asked them why they are sad and they say, because they were not healed. However, he explained that they should always go away happy, even if they are not healed in the way they expected to be healed. For, if they are not healed in the way they asked Jesus to heal them, they are receiving something EVEN BETTER. For God's ways and God's time are not our ways and our time. And if God doesn't give us what we pray for in the way we pray for it, we must realize that He knows what is better for us and we must trust that He has something in mind that is even greater for us. His plan is even better for us. What He wants to do for us is best, so we should rejoice and be glad, not downcast and sad.

This was very good for me to hear, particularly with regard to Karim. I have prayed many, many hours for Karim's healing. I have asked God "why" so many times. I have doubted even God's existence because of Karim's lack of physical healing by the God that I thought for sure would hear and answer my prayers for healing for this little innocent boy. Yet, I heard what Father Aniello said and could understand now, through the gentle explanation of this patient and loving priest, that God has something even greater in mind for Karim. He loves Karim far more than I could ever love him. We will one day know what He has in store for little Karim. And we will rejoice with God in God's ways, not ours. Thank you, Jesus, for sending this good and holy priest to be your messenger to me.

Prayer to the Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit by Fr. John Hardon, S.J.

Come, Holy Spirit,
and from heaven direct on man
the rays of Your light.
Come, Father of the poor;
come, Giver of God’s gifts;
come, Light of men’s hearts.

Kindly Paraclete,
in Your gracious visits to man’s soul
You bring relief and consolation.
It is weary with toil, You bring it ease;
in the heat of temptation, Your grace cools it;
if sorrowful, Your words console it.

Light most blessed, shine on the hearts of Your
faithful – even into their darkest corners;
for without Your help there is nothing good in man,
and nothing is innocent.
Wash clean the injured soul.
Soften the hard of heart,
warm the cold of heart,
and direct the wayward.

Grant the seven holy gifts
to Your faithful,
for their trust is in You.
Grant reward for their virtue;
grant them death that ensures salvation;
grant them everlasting bliss. Amen

Never Hurry

I had a friend who would always push me to "Hurry up, hurry up!" even when it came to prayer. Once I was praying in a chapel and he came to get me to go with him somewhere. He snapped his fingers and said, "Hurry up." I was never so infuriated.

A prayer time should never be hurried. Time with God should be open-ended. One would never think of limiting time spent with a friend or family member. Why would one hurry God? And the deepest form of prayer, contemplative prayer, is meant to be a time of sitting and waiting for God to speak. How can one wait if one is hurrying and rushing? It is impossible.

A good and healthy relationship with God needs to be nourished by allowing God the time to speak at His rate; not to quickly rush Him. That is a rude relationship. And who should be our greatest love if not God Himself? I prefer to wait on God. He is the One most worth waiting for.

God Answers a Prayer

In my lifetime I have given myself over to God many, many times in complete surrender to His holy will. Mostly, the past fifteen years have been the times of total surrender of myself into God where I receive the consolation of feeling myself diminishing and God surrounding me as I disappear into contemplative prayer and lose myself into Him. It is a feeling like no other and one that I never cease to desire never to end. My being lost in God is the greatest consolation I could ever hope for on this side of heaven. Of course times of consolation are interspersed among times of desolation, when God decides to move away for awhile and test my faithfulness and willingness to love Him just the same without the consolations. I must remain faithful and love Him just the same during those "dry" times.

Last summer I asked my friend, the Holy Spirit, for a certain grace to be used in a particular way in the kingdom, for the sole purpose of lifting up the Church. I continued to ask Him and little by little, I came to understand that indeed, God had answered this prayer in my life. It was confirmed in various ways, and I spoke of it with my spiritual director and my pastor, Fr. Tom, both very holy and trustworthy men. Both gave me very similar spiritual direction as to how to use this gift and how to discern when God was calling me for this purpose and how to "learn" how to use this gift for God's glory.

God is a gentle and patient God. He is kind and loving. The Holy Spirit sends people to me and I am learning that it is clear that I do not need to seek people, but, that God indeed will bring them to me, as evidenced by those who have come to me, in particular, those who came who did not know me previously.

My reason for this post is not to draw attention to myself. I humbly wish to be always unnoticed and in the background for I am merely a conduit of God's graces. But, I do wish to speak the truth that the Holy Spirit is alive and well in the world today. All we need do is call upon Him. When Jesus was foretelling His friends about His passion and death, He told them that He needed to leave so that the Advocate could come; the Paraclete. And He said that even greater things would happen through them by the power of the Holy Spirit. He was talking about from that time foreward until the end of time. He meant for us now in this time, as well. We need just to believe and to ask. The Holy Spirit is here to accompany us on this journey and to help us in spreading the gospel message. Blessed are those who have not seen and who believe. But, some need to see to believe.

God bless all who see this blog. May you call upon your friend, the Holy Spirit, to be with you each moment of every day, to accompany you on your daily journey in faith.

My Savior, My Jesus

Each day I place my hand in Yours,
I strive to walk with You.
The road is long and so often tough,
The resting spots are few.

Yet, when I stop and think about
The road that was Yours to take,
I realize how simple mine is these days,
Since You've lightened the load for my sake.

Persecution

The father of lies, Satan, hates Christians, in particular, Catholics, whose faith was started by Jesus Christ Himself. Why does he hate us so? I ask myself this question. From the time of creation, Satan tried to make himself equal with God. He tempted man from the the earliest days in the garden, promising that if he were to eat of the fruit of the tree of life, that he would be as God. And this was the beginning of the downfall of man. Here Adam committed the original sin. Here man chose to turn from everything beautiful that God had given him freely, to what he thought would be something "better" on his own. He tried to make himself into a god.

But, God promised a Savior who would earn back man's salvation - one who would free the world from the bondage caused by this first sin of man's free will. And over and over again, even to this day, man chooses to turn away from God and to make himself god over his life. This is what sin is; turning away from God; listening to man's ways, not God's ways. Satan delights in this. It brings him great comfort to see others fall into the trap of choosing other than God. He wants to see many join him in his eternal separation from the face of God. This is the height of torment.

Jesus, the promised Savior, did in fact come as promised. God's word was fulfilled, and the God-man saved mankind from the bondage of sin and reopened the gates of heaven by His death and resurrection. Since then, the followers of Jesus, Christians, have been persecuted, as He Himself foretold, and punished by the evil one, for believing in and living the Truth. And Satan himself, leads many to believe that it is righteous to persecute and even murder those who follow Christ.

I truly believe that it is Satan who is behind all the misguided false religions, in particular the radical Islamists, that attack the Catholic Christians worldwide. I believe Satan rejoices at the blood that is shed by those who are martyred for the sake of Jesus Christ. They feel when they blow themselves up in the act of killing Christians at worship, that they are martyrs for some heartless god who wants to see the death of Christians.

What they don't realize is that, since the beginning of Christianity, the true martyrs, are those whose lives are given for the sake of the name of Christ. They are the ones who refuse to give in to the false gods, the false religions that blaspheme and desecrate the holy name of Jesus. They are the ones who would stand in the way to protect Jesus' true body and blood in the Eucharist. They would suffer immeasurable pain and even death, to stand fast to their belief and love of Jesus Christ. They know that when they breathe their final breath, there is a place already prepared for them in heaven with the other saints and with God Himself. These are the brave ones. They are the martyrs. They are the ones whose actions should be remembered and shared with generations to come; not the actions of the misguided ones who follow the father of lies who can offer nothing but eternal damnation to his followers.

So when the persecution continues in this world, lift up the persecuted in your hearts. Pray for them to be brave and unwavering in their faith. Ask God to be at their sides when they suffer this wrongful torture. And pray for the strength to emulate them in your daily lives of discipleship.

Attacks on Christians in the Middle East

In late November, radical Muslims exploded a bomb inside of a Catholic church in Iraq, killing the priest and 57 parishioners during the celebratin of a Mass. Over the Christmas holidays, a similar group exploded a bomb in a Catholic Church in Egypt, killing twenty-some people and wounding countless others praying the Mass. A few days later a bomb exploded in a house of a Catholic family celebrating Christmas together in Iraq.

My dearest friend lives in Doha, Qatar, another country in the Middle East. Upon his return from visiting his family in Lebanon over the Christmas holidays, he received news that his parish church had been threatened to be destroyed by Al Qaida. Now the police are protecting the church at all hours because the prince of Qatar is favorable toward the Lebanese, most of which make up the Christian population in Qatar. My friend wept when he told me of this. He wept not for himself, but, for the children, and the innocent people killed by these senseless bombings by people who claim to be killing for their god.

No god would desire killing of innocent people. Only the father of lies would convince people to do this. It is Satan himself who is behind all these attacks on innocent victims who are merely praying to Jesus. It is the Catholic Christians who are always the victims of these bloody attacks.

Please pray often and sincerely for an end to these vicious attacks. Pray that God will make those people accountable for their taking of human life. And remember to pray to the martyrs who are now saints in heaven, who have given their lives for the sake of the name of Jesus Christ, Saviour and King.