Tony

My father-in-law's name is Tony. He is 88 years old. All his life he has been known for being the life of the party. He always had a joke to tell. Some of his jokes we heard every year for thirty years, yet they always seemed funny because Tony told them. He was always loud and very talkative, even if he didn't have anything important to say. Sometimes it was annoying, but, we just put up with him because that was his personality. Most people thought he was great fun. He was pleasant and everyone remembered Tony for his outgoing and fun personality.

Tony was recently moved from the assisted living part of his retirement home to the nursing home part because he can no longer take care of himself and is suffering from dimentia. He no longer answers his phone, so we cannot talk to him on the telephone. This past weekend many of us traveled to Iowa to attend our nephew's wedding. My brother-in-law and his wife brought Tony along for the opportunity to visit with family members with whom he doesn't often get to visit, including our family.

I was very saddened to see Tony in his current state. I haven't seen him for more than a year. He looks very frail and skinny. He continually stares blankly into space and does not converse with others unless spoken to first. His dimentia causes him to think that everything that someone says to him they just said previously, so he gets angry when someone speaks to him because he questions why they say what they say when they just said the same thing. It's best not to argue, but, just to agree.

He doesn't watch tv anymore either, because he thinks that what is on tv was just on. He gets very frustrated with that. It is difficult to speak with him. I asked him if I could take his picture and he was irritated because he told me I just took his picture.

Old age is a sad time in life. The body breaks down. The mind breaks down. People go back to a babylike state where they require care like a child. They are confused. They are dependent on others. I am certain that a part of our purgatory is lived on earth at this time in life. I also believe it is purgatory for those who observe their loved ones in this stage of life, for it is a form of suffering.

We must remember always to keep the elderly in our prayers. We must also remember to keep them in our care.