Today when I visited the nursing home to bring the gospel and the Eucharist, I was told that my closest friend there, Elizabeth, age 90, passed away yesterday morning. I dreaded the day when I would hear this news. She was so special to me. I loved her very much. As long as I have been coming to minister at the nursing home (8 1/2 years now) Elizabeth has been one of my people I visited. She always had a smile and wanted a kiss when I came in and another when I left. She loved to hear the gospel and remarked how beautiful the Word of God was. She loved receiving holy communion. She was often praying her rosary when I came in. If I asked her to pray for a certain intention of mine, she would. I kept her in my prayers, too.
One time I remarked to her that she should move to the other side of the nursing home where the more coherent patients were. Where she was, was with those whose minds were pretty much gone, or pretty dimented. She right away said, "Oh no. They need me too much right here. I couldn't leave them." I think she thought of herself as the mother to all of the patients on this end. She watched out for them. Her love for them was very strong.
A couple of months before she died, she started to show signs as if she had had a stroke. She was forgetful and acted strangely, asking me to help her over and over again. She would go in and out of these episodes. I knew her time on earth was soon to be over. I made sure to spend a little more time reassuring her and loving her when I made my weekly visits.
God sends people like this into our lives to remind us of how short our life on earth is. He also sends them to us to give us opportunities to love. After all, without love, we have nothing. But, with love, we have everything, for where there is love, there is Jesus. And I found Jesus in Elizabeth. God rest her soul.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Who Am I?
Someone asked me in anger today, "Who are you?" This person tries to control me. He wants to control what I say, what I do, where I sit, everything about me. I keep this all inside. It is very hurtful. It is definitely the cross I bear. I made a promise to God to bear this for Him. I will do it out of love for God because I know God loves this person so much. I will try to love this person as God loves him. I will try to see him with God's eyes.
We must do this with the people we struggle with the most. Sometimes these are our enemies, and Jesus told us to love our enemies. Being a Christian, imitating Christ, is very difficult. He never told us this would be easy. If we could escape to a lonely island somewhere, it would be easy. But, we have to live among people. Jesus told us to love one another as He loves us. It is a struggle. It is living a counter-cultural life sometimes. I need His grace and His strength to get through this each day. If I remain focussed on the Lord Jesus Christ at all times, He will help me bear my burden and make it lighter for me. This is where I will remain; with my Lord.
We must do this with the people we struggle with the most. Sometimes these are our enemies, and Jesus told us to love our enemies. Being a Christian, imitating Christ, is very difficult. He never told us this would be easy. If we could escape to a lonely island somewhere, it would be easy. But, we have to live among people. Jesus told us to love one another as He loves us. It is a struggle. It is living a counter-cultural life sometimes. I need His grace and His strength to get through this each day. If I remain focussed on the Lord Jesus Christ at all times, He will help me bear my burden and make it lighter for me. This is where I will remain; with my Lord.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Last Sunday I went to the nursing home after Mass as usual. When I entered Laura's room I found an empty bed with no sheets on it. Sometimes this happens when the residents are up and about, and the sheets are being changed. But, I had a funny feeling inside that Laura was gone. It was too empty on her side of the room. I finished my rounds and found Bonnie, one of the activities directors, who has always been very helpful and honest with me. I have shared my concerns about Laura with her in the past. I asked her where Laura was and told her I was concerned because it looked so incredibly void in her room. She went to find out.
Nursing home personnel are normally not allowed to tell people where the residents are if they are out of the building in the hospital, or if they have passed away, but, Bonnie knows I am from the church, and she knows how much I care about all the people I visit weekly. She came back to me a few minutes later and told me quietly that Laura had passed away earlier that morning. My feelings had been correct. Somehow I knew Laura had passed into the next life, eternal life.
I stood there quietly pondering this news, a little sad, but, actually glad that she had left this world where she had been trapped in a broken down body for so many years. She had been jailed in a large body covered with bed sores, and she rarely had anyone pay much attention to her. I'm not sure if any family ever visited her. Laura spent most of her time on her side, moving in and out of sleep, barely aware of the world that was going on around her. Often she was left nearly naked behind the curtain in her room because no one came to check on her and see that she was covered. She smelled many times that I visited her, as if her diaper was messed. I am sure that she sat long periods in urine and excriment that no one took the time to change because it was a gross job. And because Laura slept so much, they felt nobody would notice her. But, I noticed.
Laura was sweet. She had the softest skin ever. I would often pat her exposed arms and hands and say sweet things to her; tell her how loved she was by Jesus. I would remind her that even if she felt all alone, that Jesus and Mary were right there with her all the time, loving her and comforting her. I told her to talk to them, for they were waiting for her to speak to them always. I reminded her that she was never alone, and that even if it felt as if no one was visiting her, that her heavenly friends were constant companions to her, and that she should rejoice in that news.
When I offered to read her the gospel, she always jumped at that opportunity. I don't think she was able to read anything to herself for at least a year or two. She was too weak. But, she listened with a smile on her face, and most often remarked how beautiful the gospel was. She appreciated this. And she only turned down the opportunity to receive Jesus in the Eucharist if she wasn't feeling well. I would pray with her and often she would chime in when the familiar prayers were said, like the "Our Father." Laura remained true to her Catholic faith until the end. I am so priviledged to have been used by God as a vessel to bring her the Word and the Eucharist. I thank Jesus for giving me this woman in my life for eight years. What an honor to serve her in this way. The blessings I received from her in return, by her smile and her love will remain with me always. May her soul rest in peace.
Nursing home personnel are normally not allowed to tell people where the residents are if they are out of the building in the hospital, or if they have passed away, but, Bonnie knows I am from the church, and she knows how much I care about all the people I visit weekly. She came back to me a few minutes later and told me quietly that Laura had passed away earlier that morning. My feelings had been correct. Somehow I knew Laura had passed into the next life, eternal life.
I stood there quietly pondering this news, a little sad, but, actually glad that she had left this world where she had been trapped in a broken down body for so many years. She had been jailed in a large body covered with bed sores, and she rarely had anyone pay much attention to her. I'm not sure if any family ever visited her. Laura spent most of her time on her side, moving in and out of sleep, barely aware of the world that was going on around her. Often she was left nearly naked behind the curtain in her room because no one came to check on her and see that she was covered. She smelled many times that I visited her, as if her diaper was messed. I am sure that she sat long periods in urine and excriment that no one took the time to change because it was a gross job. And because Laura slept so much, they felt nobody would notice her. But, I noticed.
Laura was sweet. She had the softest skin ever. I would often pat her exposed arms and hands and say sweet things to her; tell her how loved she was by Jesus. I would remind her that even if she felt all alone, that Jesus and Mary were right there with her all the time, loving her and comforting her. I told her to talk to them, for they were waiting for her to speak to them always. I reminded her that she was never alone, and that even if it felt as if no one was visiting her, that her heavenly friends were constant companions to her, and that she should rejoice in that news.
When I offered to read her the gospel, she always jumped at that opportunity. I don't think she was able to read anything to herself for at least a year or two. She was too weak. But, she listened with a smile on her face, and most often remarked how beautiful the gospel was. She appreciated this. And she only turned down the opportunity to receive Jesus in the Eucharist if she wasn't feeling well. I would pray with her and often she would chime in when the familiar prayers were said, like the "Our Father." Laura remained true to her Catholic faith until the end. I am so priviledged to have been used by God as a vessel to bring her the Word and the Eucharist. I thank Jesus for giving me this woman in my life for eight years. What an honor to serve her in this way. The blessings I received from her in return, by her smile and her love will remain with me always. May her soul rest in peace.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
MyVisit to Qatar
I had the wonderful opportunity this summer not only to visit my friends in Lebanon, but to visit my best friend, Charbel, in Qatar. I had never been to this Arabic country before. Physically, it is not a pretty country. It is located just north of Saudi Arabia on the Persian Sea. It is a desert country, with very little vegetation, mostly sand everywhere. My visit was lovely, though. I love foreign travel. My only complaint was how hot it was. Of course this is the hottest time of year there. We basically slept during the day and went out at night, but even this was hot.
I have a new appreciation of muslims and for their clothing. I met new friends who are muslim and they were very nice. I met people of many different oriental races.
The Christian churches are all in an area outside of Doha, the capital. It is called the religious complex. The churches are not allowed to have any signs on the outside to indicate Christianity. Two Christmases ago, Holy Rosary Church was threatened by Al Qaida that it would be bombed. Fortunately, with extra Qatari police protection, it wasn't. But, each time I went to Mass there (3X) I thought of the possibility of
martyrdom and actually looked forward to it. This gave me a whole new perspective on America's freedom of religion. More prayers are needed for safety for the Christians of the Middle East. No longer are they just nameless faces to me. Now many of them are my friends.
I have a new appreciation of muslims and for their clothing. I met new friends who are muslim and they were very nice. I met people of many different oriental races.
The Christian churches are all in an area outside of Doha, the capital. It is called the religious complex. The churches are not allowed to have any signs on the outside to indicate Christianity. Two Christmases ago, Holy Rosary Church was threatened by Al Qaida that it would be bombed. Fortunately, with extra Qatari police protection, it wasn't. But, each time I went to Mass there (3X) I thought of the possibility of
martyrdom and actually looked forward to it. This gave me a whole new perspective on America's freedom of religion. More prayers are needed for safety for the Christians of the Middle East. No longer are they just nameless faces to me. Now many of them are my friends.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Humility
I was looking back through my posts on this blog, looking for a certain one, which I had written some time back, when I realized how few people have looked at this blog of mine. It was a lesson in humility. After thinking about it for a few minutes, however, I realized that I was glad for this. It is my personal place where I can write my spiritual thoughts. I had hoped others might benefit from my insights sometimes, as they come out of prayer and reflection on Scripture, but, apparently, no one is interested.
But, it's okay. If no one ever looked or will ever look at my blog I am fine. God is the only one I need to hear my thoughts and to listen to me give feedback to His mighty Word. Who do I think I am to offer advice to others on the walk? I am no better than them, and nine times out of ten, I am probably much more of a beginner than most. So if I write this blog only to communicate with my dear Lord Jesus, then so be it.
I did notice two times in particiular, when the readership went way up. One was when I titled the post, "Father Aniello Salicone." He is a healing priest I saw twice in my life. I wrote about my experiences with his healing Masses, and some of the conversation I had with him regarding my own ministry. People know this priest, and they must have searched for his name under the blogspot directory, or searched for "healing." Their interest lay there - in healing. the other one was when I wrote a post entitled, "The Gift of Healing." I was writing a little about my own God-given gift, a new gift, of healing. The number of views was large on that post as well.
This is not what I want people to be drawn to by my writing. I never want to draw any attention to myself. The idea of the blog, as written on the cover page, is to possibly help others in their journey toward heaven; certainly not to glorify myself in any way.
Look not toward me, but, to my Lord, who deserves all glory, praise and honor. Love Him, obey Him, and imitate His Son, Jesus Christ, in all you do. Amen.
But, it's okay. If no one ever looked or will ever look at my blog I am fine. God is the only one I need to hear my thoughts and to listen to me give feedback to His mighty Word. Who do I think I am to offer advice to others on the walk? I am no better than them, and nine times out of ten, I am probably much more of a beginner than most. So if I write this blog only to communicate with my dear Lord Jesus, then so be it.
I did notice two times in particiular, when the readership went way up. One was when I titled the post, "Father Aniello Salicone." He is a healing priest I saw twice in my life. I wrote about my experiences with his healing Masses, and some of the conversation I had with him regarding my own ministry. People know this priest, and they must have searched for his name under the blogspot directory, or searched for "healing." Their interest lay there - in healing. the other one was when I wrote a post entitled, "The Gift of Healing." I was writing a little about my own God-given gift, a new gift, of healing. The number of views was large on that post as well.
This is not what I want people to be drawn to by my writing. I never want to draw any attention to myself. The idea of the blog, as written on the cover page, is to possibly help others in their journey toward heaven; certainly not to glorify myself in any way.
Look not toward me, but, to my Lord, who deserves all glory, praise and honor. Love Him, obey Him, and imitate His Son, Jesus Christ, in all you do. Amen.
Monday, June 25, 2012
A Beautiful Priest
This weekend we say good-bye at our parish, to our pastor, Father Tom Brown, who has served our parish for seven years, 2001-2003 and 2007-2012. The bishop of Grand Rapids has transferred him to a differernt parish within the diocese. This priest is the holiest priest I have ever known. Most of the parishioners love him very much and are very sad that he has been transferred. But, they realize that all priests must go where the bishop says. Father Brown is obedient to the bishop, which is one of his fine qualities. He is obedient to Rome and to his local bishop, and obeys without complaining, even though it is sometimes difficult for him to move when he loves his parishioners as his family.
The good things Father Tom has done for our parish are way too numerous to mention, but, I want to say a few. He allowed me to begin a youth group in our parish in 2001. We never had a youth group before, and now it flourishes under its second leader. He allowed a rosary and holy hour with adoration and benedication to happen every Wednesday night. While the rosary was prayed, he would go into the confessional and hear confessions. This developed into a Wednesday evening Mass with confessions. As the years went on, the line for confessions grew and grew. During lent the lines would sometimes be well past the length of the church. He added many additional evenings of confessions during lent and advent. Many returned to confession because Father Tom encouraged people to return to the sacrament and preached on the awesome mercy of God in this sacrament.
He almost never took a day off from work because he didn't consider his vocation "work." He was often heard saying, "I don't work. I love what I do. Does a mother take a day off from her vocation? Neither do I. I don't consider it work." Almost always if asked to celebrate a special Mass for a family event, or to add a holy event of some type for one group or another, he would say "yes." Several years in a row, he traveled an hour an a half to say a Mass in the woods for the youth group while they were on a camping trip, and to hear their confessions in the woods.
I myself was in a prayer group called God's Embrace. We met for three years of training in holiness and discipleship. Each of those three years we had four weekend retreats. Father Tom would come for each of those retreats on a Saturday night after his three parish Masses, and sometimes after a fourth wedding or funeral Mass, without taking time to eat, hear confessions for more than an hour and then say Mass for our group. We would end at 10 at night and he would then say he was ready to say another Mass if we wanted. This is how much he loved saying Mass.
Oftentimes if someone couldn't find a substitute to take their place during the middle of the night in the perpetual adoration chapel, Father Tom would gladly take the place of that person. He loved the Eucharist and didn't mind giving up his sleep to adore Jesus in the Eucharist.
When there was a boating accident and one of the Catholic high school students was missing, many students and parents from the school were waiting by the water's edge while the coast guard searched for her body after midnight one night. The atmosphere was sad and disturbed. I called Fr. Tom at the rectory and asked if he could come and be there to help the people spiritually. He came immediately. He spent part of the night talking with the people on the shore and the rest of the night comforting the rest of the teens who had been on the boats involved in the accident. My son was one of those teens. A few days later, after Mass, my son went up to him and thanked him for staying the night with them that night. It had been a great comfort to them all. He replied that he knew how it felt because when he was a kid, his brother was drowned in Lake Michigan, and he knew how horrible the feeling of waiting was. To me this was an incredible amount of personal pastoral care.
I can only hope and pray that God will continue to use this priest, Father Tom, to minister to his new and future parishioners as humbly and selflessly as he has to our parish. He is a true gift from God.
The good things Father Tom has done for our parish are way too numerous to mention, but, I want to say a few. He allowed me to begin a youth group in our parish in 2001. We never had a youth group before, and now it flourishes under its second leader. He allowed a rosary and holy hour with adoration and benedication to happen every Wednesday night. While the rosary was prayed, he would go into the confessional and hear confessions. This developed into a Wednesday evening Mass with confessions. As the years went on, the line for confessions grew and grew. During lent the lines would sometimes be well past the length of the church. He added many additional evenings of confessions during lent and advent. Many returned to confession because Father Tom encouraged people to return to the sacrament and preached on the awesome mercy of God in this sacrament.
He almost never took a day off from work because he didn't consider his vocation "work." He was often heard saying, "I don't work. I love what I do. Does a mother take a day off from her vocation? Neither do I. I don't consider it work." Almost always if asked to celebrate a special Mass for a family event, or to add a holy event of some type for one group or another, he would say "yes." Several years in a row, he traveled an hour an a half to say a Mass in the woods for the youth group while they were on a camping trip, and to hear their confessions in the woods.
I myself was in a prayer group called God's Embrace. We met for three years of training in holiness and discipleship. Each of those three years we had four weekend retreats. Father Tom would come for each of those retreats on a Saturday night after his three parish Masses, and sometimes after a fourth wedding or funeral Mass, without taking time to eat, hear confessions for more than an hour and then say Mass for our group. We would end at 10 at night and he would then say he was ready to say another Mass if we wanted. This is how much he loved saying Mass.
Oftentimes if someone couldn't find a substitute to take their place during the middle of the night in the perpetual adoration chapel, Father Tom would gladly take the place of that person. He loved the Eucharist and didn't mind giving up his sleep to adore Jesus in the Eucharist.
When there was a boating accident and one of the Catholic high school students was missing, many students and parents from the school were waiting by the water's edge while the coast guard searched for her body after midnight one night. The atmosphere was sad and disturbed. I called Fr. Tom at the rectory and asked if he could come and be there to help the people spiritually. He came immediately. He spent part of the night talking with the people on the shore and the rest of the night comforting the rest of the teens who had been on the boats involved in the accident. My son was one of those teens. A few days later, after Mass, my son went up to him and thanked him for staying the night with them that night. It had been a great comfort to them all. He replied that he knew how it felt because when he was a kid, his brother was drowned in Lake Michigan, and he knew how horrible the feeling of waiting was. To me this was an incredible amount of personal pastoral care.
I can only hope and pray that God will continue to use this priest, Father Tom, to minister to his new and future parishioners as humbly and selflessly as he has to our parish. He is a true gift from God.
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Lebanon
I will again be visiting Lebanon this summer, mainly to visit Karim and his family, but, also to visit my other friends there. My visit in the Middle East will be three weeks in August this time. I will also visit the country of Qatar, where my friend Charbel moved 2 years ago. I am excited for this because it is a new country for me to visit and I will meet new friends there. The only thing I am a little worried about is the heat. It will be over 110 degrees fahrenheit there in August. I do not do well in that hot weather, although, Charbel says we will spend most of the time inside in air conditioning.
I look forward to visiting many sights in Lebanon that I have not yet seen, or that I was rushed through before when I visited them in 2007 and 2008. I am hoping my friend Issam, from Seattle, will be there at the same time as me, because if so, he promised to show me many lovely places in Lebanon and to explain the history there. We will stay overnight in a monastery in the Holy Valley one of the nights because he knows the monks well. I look forward to being able to spend time in prayer and not being rushed as I was before.
It will be good to visit my little Karim again, too. I miss him a lot. I will take him with me to visit friends in Deir El Qamar. I will spend time with my many friends there, too. I can't wait to visit the shrine on the mountain again, and the church of Abouna Yaqqoub, have ice cream on the square, see Abete Marcel, and all the others I have missed. It will be like a homecoming to the country I feel is my second home.
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