The Dance

I looked out the window in the early evening sky
And my God was playing with me.
For I watched a show, so beautiful to behold;
Only my eyes seemed to observe.

The sun, she danced, she spiraled 'round,
Amidst lovely shades of pink.
As I looked again the brightest gold
Surrounded her heavenly orb.

I chuckled within and remembered the day
In Medjugorje when all sought that site,
Yet I yearned for nothing of the sort;
Just a song in my heart, to reassure me of Jesus' love.

I turned my gaze out the window again
To the cloud-filled sky on my right,
Where now the sun was dressed in blue,
As she circled and bounced for my joy.

While the plane soared on the dance kept going,
And the smile upon my face
Grew wider as I snickered,
And the blue turned to orange so bright.

I watched and I marvelled as He showed me
The dance, while the colors continued to change.
My heart was abounding with love for my Lord
Who had shared with me His awesome beauty.

I quietly rested my head on the window,
And inhaled thoughts of my glorious King.
So holy, so marvelous, so precious is He
To have traveled with me in His skies.

A True Friend

During one's lifetime, one meets various people who come and go. Some are friends for a short time; some for longer periods of time. In rare instances, one finds a lifetime friend. A true friend is hard to come by, particularly as one moves into mid-life. A true friend is definitely a rare gift from God. I met one such person a little more than two years ago when I traveled to Lebanon the first time. Actually, my daughter, Laura, became friends with two young men a few years older than she is, Charbel Jerdi and Youssef Bou Abdo. At the time, I was pleased with her new friendships because I never felt as if I had to worry about her in this foreign country, roaming around all hours of the night with these new friends. They were polite, very kind, and extremely faith-filled young men. They spent many hours with a group of young people from the parish in the two weeks that we were there.

We kept in touch often after that visit, through phone and e-mail. They both stayed in contact with Laura and me. I visited Lebanon two additional times, once with Laura and again by myself. The third time, I spent a lot of time with Charbel and we grew to be very close friends. We shared a lot of conversations and shared our love for Karim, whom Charbel had taken under his wing even before the story of Karim became public. Charbel and I share a very deep love for handicapped and elderly people.

The other thing that Charbel and I have in common is our deep love of Jesus, Mary and the Catholic faith. Charbel is one of the most saintly men I know. The love of Jesus radiates from this young man. In my heart I believe he may have a vocation to the priesthood, but, God has not made that clear to him as of yet. He does not have a mean bone in his body. And nearly everyone in his city loves him because of his great love for others.

I speak regularly with Charbel because we have much to share with each other about faith and we have helped each other through difficult times in our lives. He waits for my call or to speak on the computer and we often talk for two hours in the middle of the night in Lebanon. He gives up his sleep so that he can talk because it's sometimes the only time we can both be available at the same time. I think of how in the Book of Proverbs the Scriptures speak so highly of the value of a good friend. And I thank God for gifting me with my friend, Charbel, 6,000 miles away, yet right here in my heart always.

Danny

I could write a book about my experiences with bringing the Eucharist to the people in the nursing home on Sundays for the past six years. It has been one of the greatest joys that God has given to me. I look back at it and wonder why it took me so long to volunteer for such a great privilege. At first, I didn't want to do it because I felt unworthy. Then Sister Agnes told me that someone needs to do it, and none of us are worthy, so why not give it a try. So I agreed. And six years later, I love this ministry and I miss it when I am away and have to ask for a replacement. I worry about my elderly friends when I do not see them on Sundays. Some of them teach me a lot. And even if they don't teach me, God gives me great love for them. My daily prayer is always, "Jesus, give me the love you have for all people this day and every day." And I know He answers this prayer because often my love for people is so intense that I cannot contain it; especially the love I feel for the elderly, the handicapped, the poor, and His priests.

Danny came to the nursing home last August. He is a short fellow in his 80's. He lived a rather glamorous life having had a very small role in the movie "The Wizard of Oz" as a child. He lived his life among the Hollywood Stars, never making it big, but, becoming a friendly and common face among the rich and famous, particularly among the late '40's and '50's. He served in the army on Iwo Jima during World War II. He retired to Muskegon about ten years ago and worked as a greeter at the local grocery store, handing out autographed pictures of himself in his "flying monkey" costume from the movie, still receiving recognition for his famous connection.

Last August, he had a stroke which left him wheelchair bound and not able to control his bladder. He does not have the use of the left side of his body. He is totally dependent on the caretakers at the nursing home, even to feed him and wipe his mouth. He is lonely and feels like he is a burden. It is very sad.

However, in his loneliness and helplessness, Danny has rediscovered his complete dependence on God. Almost every time I bring him the Eucharist, he begins to cry as soon as I start to say, "This is the Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world..." He says, "I need Him more than ever now." He cries because he knows how important God is to him and how much he needs Jesus. I don't know what his faith life was like before, other than that he was a practicing Catholic. But, I know that he has just about given up hope now. It gives me the opportunity to speak words of Jesus' love for him. It gives me the opportunity to put my arms around him and hug him and kiss his bald head. I can wipe his tears and place the King of the Universe on his tongue as he weeps out of gratitude. I can be the hands of Christ to him at a moment when he needs God's embrace. This is one of those times when I know God has answered my prayer and given me His love for someone on earth because my heart wants to burst with love for this frail little old man. And when I hug Danny, I am hugging Christ Himself.

Update on Karim

A couple of weeks ago I received the news that Karim has not been brought to Mass for some months now. His parents do not bring him. My friend, Charbel used to bring him, but became very busy and no one else from his parish ever brought him. Now Charbel is moving away from Lebanon. He is one of the few that consistently visited and loved Karim. I understand that another person that visits him from the parish is a young mother named Clara, who brings her little baby girl, Jane, to visit Karim. This is a delightful thing for Karim, because he loves babies, and Clara lets Karim play with her two-year-old who also loves Karim. Clara has consistently brought her little girl to visit Karim ever since I brought him back to Lebanon in June. I believe she is the only other one that continues to visit him regularly. I am thankful that someone found it in her heart to make Karim a part of her life; to find time to visit with him and to fit him into her schedule. I am sure God is pleased with this. He is not able to receive the sacraments because he is not taken to Mass and no one comes to bring communion to him.

I heard from Father Antonio that the landlord of Karim's family told them that they have until the end of January to leave the house they are in and find another place to live. I do not know why he is demanding this. It is a devastating thing for several reasons. First, they have been staying there for so many years, in exchange for Younes (Karim's father) working the garden and giving the bulk of the produce to the owner. Second, we used $7,000 of Karim's fund money in early 2008 to renovate the building to bring it up to a standard that was healthy enough for him to live in, including putting in running hot and cold water, a bathroom with toilet and bathtub, kitchen sink with faucet, new floor, roof over the patio to protect Karim's skin from the sun, patched the roof, etc. Finally it was suitable for Karim to live in. Now I pray that he will be in a different house that will at least have the running hot and cold water and a toilet. In addition, he needs a tub large enough to be able to soak his skin in. Otherwise, he will be so prone to infection again. Perhaps the new house will be closer to the church and he will be able to make it to Mass if someone will at least help him cross the busy street.

Please pray for Karim once again. His story continues, his disease continues to ravage his little body and he is still in need of our continued prayers. When he first returned to Lebanon some paid attention to him and walked with him and he was included in a few parish functions, but his loneliness returned after the first month or so when life went back to usual. I believe Karim is a suffering saint.

Philippians 2

Tonight I was reading Holy Scripture and came across an important passage at the beginning of St. Paul's letter to the Philippians, Chapter 2. Paul says, "Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves, each looking out not for his own interests, but [also] everyone for those of others." Sometimes this is really difficult to do because we live in a society that pushes making ourselves comfortable and looking out for number one, "me." This is what we in America have been taught in our society since I can remember. The commercials on television and the radio, magazine ads, etc., all push satisfaction and comfort for ourselves, while ignoring others. As a whole, America is the #1 nation to reach out to other less fortunate nations of the world when it comes to helping the poor and those suffering from disasters, such as the earthquake victims of Haiti. But, individually, we do not do very well.

I would hope that those of us with Christian backgrounds and those of us following Christ seriously, would look deeply inside of our hearts, and always put the "other guy" first, before ourselves. This means offering our time to make life easier for others. It means donating clothing to the Salvation Army and Goodwill stores. It means taking time to make life nicer for lonely people. And it also means offering prayers and even offering to suffer for the souls of others. This is where discipleship becomes truly Christlike because this is when it becomes difficult. Christ's ultimate sacrifice for us on the cross, was the most unselfish act anyone could do and it was this unselfish, loving act that brought us our salvation. It was an act done out of complete love. He was humbly thinking only of us, and not at all of Himself. He put us before himself. This was all but easy. We need to model ourselves daily after Christ. How different the world would be if everyone threw away their selfishness and replaced it with Jesus' holy and uncompromised love for others.

My Beautiful Savior

Today after school I went directly to St. Michael's to pray before the Blessed Sacrament. I spent nearly an hour lost in the embrace of my beautiful Savior, thanking Him once again for freeing me from that which had held me bound for so long. Now I am free of the hold it had on me, but, yet, in a small way I feel as if something is missing. I know what that something is now. It is the gift I had been given of an answer to prayer; a prayer I had whispered to God some time back. I had asked for the chance to suffer for the souls of priests because of my love for priests. They are God's chosen ones. They are the ones who form the bridge that connect us, the sinful ones, to God. Only they can bring us the graces we need through the sacraments of the Church. How awesome is this? And today I was asking God what next? What do You want from me next?

Now I am praying for a different form of suffering for priests; one that will involve only me and not my family. I am too weak for depression. But, I am still offering myself for this redemptive suffering for the souls of priests. They need us so much to pray and sacrifice for them. I'm not sure if people even think in these terms anymore. Suffering can bring joy, if joined with Christ on the cross.

Bruce

Yesterday while visiting the nursing home I stopped in to visit with Bruce. Bruce is not Catholic, but I have known his family for at least ten years. He has had a very difficult life. His wife died very young, leaving him to raise six young children by himself. He almost died as a young man because of kidney failure. He had something wrong with one of his legs which caused him to limp badly as long as I've known him, and about five years ago had to have one of his legs amputated from the knee down because of complications from diabetes. He entered the nursing home last year at the age of 55, because he could no longer care for himself and he was showing signs of early dimensia.

I always stop to say hello and chat with him because I have a heart for all people, and especially Bruce, who years ago spent many hours volunteering at the Catholic school where he sent his kids in order that they receive a good education. Lately he could not speak very loudly because of strokes he suffered. He had to hold his hand on his throat in order to have his speech audible.

Bruce's daughter notified me a few days ago that he had been in the hospital this past week and only had a few days left to live. His blood pressure was falling and there was nothing they could do to help him, so they decided to just make him comfortable at the nursing home until he went. So when I visited him on Sunday, I was prepared. He was not awake when I entered his room. I pulled up a chair and held his hand and stroked his forehead and cheek, making the sign of the cross several times on his little bald head. I spoke to him and told him that I was going to pray some Catholic prayers for him and I explained what the Chaplet of Divine Mercy was. I prayed the Chaplet for Bruce. He breathed shallowly. Then I prayed the Anima Christi. It is a beautiful prayer. I talked to him about how proud God must be of how he did so much suffering in his life to raise such a beautiful family. I told him that his suffering could be united with Jesus' suffering on the cross. I told him he was very much loved by his family and that I, too, love him. I just sat quietly and stroked his arm and cheek. It was a very blessed moment of silence and of prayer. Then I kissed his head and left, not knowing if I will see Bruce again next week or not. But, I am thankful that I was able to spend time these past weeks with him and at least give him a little of God's love in his last days on earth. I pray he will be with his Lord and Savior very soon.

Note: Bruce passed away two days after I wrote this post.