I believe strongly in the power of prayer. God hears our prayers and answers them in His time. He may not answer our prayers in the way we imagine, but, He answers them according to His will, which is always the best way.
When I returned Karim to Lebanon in 2009, my biggest disappointment was that none of the schools would let him in. They used all kinds of excuses, but, I feel that the real reason was fear of the unknown; fear of a handicap they didn't know anything about. It was an unfounded fear. I don't hold any bad feelings against them. They just don't know.
Karim's tutor, a beautiful and kind lady named Marleine Saba, came a couple times a week during most of the year 2009-2010 to continue his education in English and math. But, partway through the year she got full-time employment in Beirut and had to stop coming so often to Karim's house. Her time was limited. Marleine grew to love Karim during the time she tutored him, though, and she saw how smart he was, in spite of his disability.
Marleine was determined to find a school somewhere that would accept Karim. This was her mission. She contacted several schools and spoke with many people about his situation. Most of the time she was disappointed. But, yesterday I spoke briefly with her and found that there is a school that has accepted him for the fall semester. I do not have any of the details on it, other than that he will take a bus because it is in another town. She will get back with me to see if we can afford to send the money for the tuition. If necessary, I will have another fundraiser to raise this money. School is Karim's dream. To be accepted into a normal life is his hope and desire. Thanks to God's help and Marleine's persistence, this may indeed happen after all.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
God's Comforting Words
I am certain that God sends people into our lives to be His own comfort to us, and to speak His words to us at times when the walk is especially difficult. I still struggle with hurt feelings from the loss of a very dear and important friend of mine, who ultimately told me to get out of his life and "go to hell" a while back. This person is high in the church, which makes it even more difficult, because one doesn't expect this type of language to come from the mouth of a chosen servant of God. All in all, I am becoming stronger from this harsh chastisement and have been praying more than ever for the soul of that very person daily. I hope that my meager prayers will be instrumental in his path to heaven. He cannot take this power to pray him into heaven away from me.
Anyway, yesterday was a bad day for me and I was thinking about this situation again and it brought tears to my eyes. I was speaking on the phone with a very good and holy spiritual friend of mine, lamenting because I am not able yet to get beyond the sadness this causes me. I told him that I wanted to move on with my life, but, I stil have these times when I think of the situation and feel so, so sad because I miss the friend I lost and I feel so hurt at the words that were said to me. I asked him what I can do? He was silent for a bit, and then he replied, "I am happy for this, Liz. I am happy for you because of this suffering you still have. I am happy because I can see you up on the cross with Jesus. You asked Jesus to suffer for the souls of priests, and there you are up there on the cross with Him doing just that. He answered your prayer and this is your opportunity to suffer for this one that hurt you. You can use this suffering. Be happy. Don't be sad."
It is often hard to see ourselves in the "big picture" and to realize that God hasn't abandoned us and yes, He really is there all the time, watching and listening to our prayers every moment. And when He sees that we are having difficulty handling life's situations, He sends someone to help us along. This is what happened yesterday. My friend was there to give me God's hug and to reassure me that things would be okay. Thank You, God, for the gift of this friend in my life.
Anyway, yesterday was a bad day for me and I was thinking about this situation again and it brought tears to my eyes. I was speaking on the phone with a very good and holy spiritual friend of mine, lamenting because I am not able yet to get beyond the sadness this causes me. I told him that I wanted to move on with my life, but, I stil have these times when I think of the situation and feel so, so sad because I miss the friend I lost and I feel so hurt at the words that were said to me. I asked him what I can do? He was silent for a bit, and then he replied, "I am happy for this, Liz. I am happy for you because of this suffering you still have. I am happy because I can see you up on the cross with Jesus. You asked Jesus to suffer for the souls of priests, and there you are up there on the cross with Him doing just that. He answered your prayer and this is your opportunity to suffer for this one that hurt you. You can use this suffering. Be happy. Don't be sad."
It is often hard to see ourselves in the "big picture" and to realize that God hasn't abandoned us and yes, He really is there all the time, watching and listening to our prayers every moment. And when He sees that we are having difficulty handling life's situations, He sends someone to help us along. This is what happened yesterday. My friend was there to give me God's hug and to reassure me that things would be okay. Thank You, God, for the gift of this friend in my life.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Lord Drew me In
This morning I made the effort and got up early to attend Mass. I've been lazy this summer and slept past the alarm every day. I'm ashamed of this. I chose sleep over the chance to receive Jesus in the Eucharist and to hear the Word of God proclaimed every single day. I argued with myself internally each morning, and the lazy part won over. But, today, Jesus won. Thank God.
It was wonderful!!! I love the Mass. I could kick myself for wasting all those mornings just rolling over in bed and enjoying the comfort of the soft sheets. How could I have chosen physical comfort over the joy offered to me in the Mass? Well, I know it was a weakness I struggled with. Forgive me, Jesus.
I saw all my old daily Mass friends from years back when I didn't work full time and from the summers off when I usually attend Mass. The faithful people still are faithful. It's wonderful to see their persistence. They are an inspiration to me. They are the prayer warriors who never give in to the flesh. I joined in with them and took part in the beautiful liturgy, expressing my sorrow for my sins, praising God and proclaiming His holiness.
Then, my heart began to race and my anticipation grew so great as I stood in line and walked toward my Lord who was drawing me in ever so gently - awaiting the chance to commune with me and to "receive me," as I, too, would receive Him on my tongue in the most holy of banquets. I was there. I took Him on my tongue and alas, I was so overcome with joy. I returned to my seat and could barely contain myself. I thanked Him for giving Himself so lovingly and unconditionally to me. I told Him over and over again how I loved Him and how sorry I was for not coming sooner in the summer. I was one with Him once again. I knew this was where I was meant to be and I didn't want to leave this loving embrace with my Lord and King. Yet, the Mass ended, the people departed, and my day was to continue elsewhere. But, I knew the grace of this sacrament would take me through whatever I was to face the rest of this day, for my strength lies only in Him. I will be there tomorrow, eagerly awaiting this communion with my adopted brother. How could I stay away ever again?
It was wonderful!!! I love the Mass. I could kick myself for wasting all those mornings just rolling over in bed and enjoying the comfort of the soft sheets. How could I have chosen physical comfort over the joy offered to me in the Mass? Well, I know it was a weakness I struggled with. Forgive me, Jesus.
I saw all my old daily Mass friends from years back when I didn't work full time and from the summers off when I usually attend Mass. The faithful people still are faithful. It's wonderful to see their persistence. They are an inspiration to me. They are the prayer warriors who never give in to the flesh. I joined in with them and took part in the beautiful liturgy, expressing my sorrow for my sins, praising God and proclaiming His holiness.
Then, my heart began to race and my anticipation grew so great as I stood in line and walked toward my Lord who was drawing me in ever so gently - awaiting the chance to commune with me and to "receive me," as I, too, would receive Him on my tongue in the most holy of banquets. I was there. I took Him on my tongue and alas, I was so overcome with joy. I returned to my seat and could barely contain myself. I thanked Him for giving Himself so lovingly and unconditionally to me. I told Him over and over again how I loved Him and how sorry I was for not coming sooner in the summer. I was one with Him once again. I knew this was where I was meant to be and I didn't want to leave this loving embrace with my Lord and King. Yet, the Mass ended, the people departed, and my day was to continue elsewhere. But, I knew the grace of this sacrament would take me through whatever I was to face the rest of this day, for my strength lies only in Him. I will be there tomorrow, eagerly awaiting this communion with my adopted brother. How could I stay away ever again?
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
The Beauty of the Priesthood
One does not make his own decision to become a priest. God makes the decision from the beginning of time that He is going to call certain individuals to the priesthood. He knows even before these men are formed in the wombs of their mothers, that they are the ones He will beckon and call to be His shepherds on this earth; the ones He will use to touch the lives and hearts of the lost sheep. Sometimes all He need do is whisper gently in the ear of a young man, and that young man turns his life directly to the service of God. Other times, He needs to knock many times on the door of the man's heart before he finally says "Yes, Lord, I hear your call and I am ready to come follow You."
I have heard many vocation stories and they are each unique and wonderful. I have come in contact with many priests in my lifetime and have the joy of becoming personal friends with a few along the way. I loved many for their selfless service to God through their loving service to man. I have marvelled at the gentleness of their words as they pronounced the words of mercy and absolution upon me as I tearfully confessed my sins. I have joyously received the most precious Body and Blood of Christ from their hands as they fed me the Spiritual food for my journey. I have thankfully accepted the oils upon my hands as they anointed me before surgeries. I have received the sacraments of baptism, confirmation and been united with my husband in matrimony under the priest's witness. And how many times did I so happily receive the most precious priestly blessing from one of God's chosen ones?
I look to them with respect and reverence. They are the ones who stand in the person of Christ at the altar every time we attend Mass. They are the holy ones who lead us in liturgy time and time again. They are the ones who open the Scriptures to us. They are the ones who are our Christlike examples on earth. How wonderful are they!! How I love all of the priests. God bless them all. For He chose them all and He loves them all beyond measure.
Jesus, please pour out your love and blessings upon all of your chosen ones. Keep them safe. Keep them holy. Keep them under your holy watch, day and night. You are their Savior. You died for them. You already freed them from the bonds of Satan's evil ways. Love them even more, Jesus. Keep them in Your blessed embrace always. Pour out your sanctifying grace onto them every moment. Amen.
Friday, July 16, 2010
"Feed My Sheep"
After Peter denied Jesus three times he wept bitterly. He felt such intense sorrow at having wounded our Lord in this manner. How could he have turned the other way and out of fear turned on his dearest friend? Yet Jesus, in His great mercy and compassion, knew all along that he, Peter, was destined for great things. He, in spite of his failings, had already been chosen to lead the Church, the earthly institution chosen until the end of time to pass on Christ's very self to the world.
After His resurrection, when He appeared to the apostles, Jesus asked Peter three times, "Peter, do you love me?" to which Peter answered resoundingly, "Yes, Lord, you know I love you." And Jesus said "Feed my sheep." What could this mean? Through Tradition, we have come to know that Jesus meant the priests/bishops/Pope must be the "feeders" of the flock on earth. In other words, we the sheep turn to them for our spiritual food each and every day. Through them, we are fed the words of Holy Scripture; they open the Word (Jesus) to us in the Liturgy of the Word, and they feed us with the Eucharist in the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Once again, I am reminded of the great importance that our priests hold in this world. We must lift them daily in our prayers and hold them always in our hearts. Love the priests. Pray for their holiness and that God will give them wisdom and strength.
After His resurrection, when He appeared to the apostles, Jesus asked Peter three times, "Peter, do you love me?" to which Peter answered resoundingly, "Yes, Lord, you know I love you." And Jesus said "Feed my sheep." What could this mean? Through Tradition, we have come to know that Jesus meant the priests/bishops/Pope must be the "feeders" of the flock on earth. In other words, we the sheep turn to them for our spiritual food each and every day. Through them, we are fed the words of Holy Scripture; they open the Word (Jesus) to us in the Liturgy of the Word, and they feed us with the Eucharist in the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Once again, I am reminded of the great importance that our priests hold in this world. We must lift them daily in our prayers and hold them always in our hearts. Love the priests. Pray for their holiness and that God will give them wisdom and strength.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The Scriptures and Forgiveness
While pondering the hurt I felt recently, I went to Scriptures once again to remind myself of what my responsibility is when someone hurts me. In the Gospel of Matthew, we read, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven times.'" Mt 18:21-22
So even if someone tells me to "Go to hell seventy-seven times, I must forgive him every time, because this is what Jesus tells me to do. For if He was able to forgive His murderers while He was hanging from the cross, bleeding and in severe pain, I, too, must find it in my heart to forgive the one who caused me so much emotional pain. I already forgave him and I offer my pain for him on the cross with Jesus for his soul. I want this person to obtain heaven more than I want my own self to obtain heaven out of love for him because my love for him is a gift from God.
Also, how many times each day do we Catholics recite the "Our Father" prayer? If we truly mean what we say, then we must forgive, because we say to God the Father, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Therefore, we are telling God that He should forgive us in the same way that we forgive those that have hurt us. So if we cannot find it in our hearts to forgive others for whatever they do to us, then we cannot expect God to extend His divine mercy to us when we come to our judgement at the end of our lives. It seems so simple, yet this is something that many people struggle with on earth. It is very difficult to forgive someone who has wronged us, particularly when we feel justified for holding a grudge, or when we feel that we are "right" and the other person is "wrong." The prayer doesn't say, "as we forgive those who trespass against us that we know were wrong." It merely says that God will be merciful as we were merciful. His forgiveness will be dealt to us in the same way we are merciful to those who "sinned" against us.
Wow. The Christian walk is definitely not an easy walk, is it? Father, please help me always to show mercy to those who have wronged me, whether or not they were justified. Help me to always forgive. I desire to be one with You. I desire to bear the name of Your son and call myself a Christian, so help me to be worthy of this name. Help me to emulate Your son in all that I do and say. I want to be more like Jesus every day. Please remove anything from me that gets in the way. Amen.
So even if someone tells me to "Go to hell seventy-seven times, I must forgive him every time, because this is what Jesus tells me to do. For if He was able to forgive His murderers while He was hanging from the cross, bleeding and in severe pain, I, too, must find it in my heart to forgive the one who caused me so much emotional pain. I already forgave him and I offer my pain for him on the cross with Jesus for his soul. I want this person to obtain heaven more than I want my own self to obtain heaven out of love for him because my love for him is a gift from God.
Also, how many times each day do we Catholics recite the "Our Father" prayer? If we truly mean what we say, then we must forgive, because we say to God the Father, "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." Therefore, we are telling God that He should forgive us in the same way that we forgive those that have hurt us. So if we cannot find it in our hearts to forgive others for whatever they do to us, then we cannot expect God to extend His divine mercy to us when we come to our judgement at the end of our lives. It seems so simple, yet this is something that many people struggle with on earth. It is very difficult to forgive someone who has wronged us, particularly when we feel justified for holding a grudge, or when we feel that we are "right" and the other person is "wrong." The prayer doesn't say, "as we forgive those who trespass against us that we know were wrong." It merely says that God will be merciful as we were merciful. His forgiveness will be dealt to us in the same way we are merciful to those who "sinned" against us.
Wow. The Christian walk is definitely not an easy walk, is it? Father, please help me always to show mercy to those who have wronged me, whether or not they were justified. Help me to always forgive. I desire to be one with You. I desire to bear the name of Your son and call myself a Christian, so help me to be worthy of this name. Help me to emulate Your son in all that I do and say. I want to be more like Jesus every day. Please remove anything from me that gets in the way. Amen.
Friday, July 9, 2010
A Prayer to My Love
Sweetest Jesus, You know me intimately; not because I choose day in and day out to give myself entirely to You, but because You chose me first. Yes, as unworthy as I may seem at times, You did choose me long before I was even conceived in my mother's womb to be Your beloved. You willed me into being. Oh, how sweet is the love song that we pass back and forth between us. At times I am so overwhelmed with Your heavenly presence that I am brought to tears. Other times I just gaze on Your presence in the Blessed Sacrament and smile at Your simplicity and beauty.
Surely You have given me a real taste of what heaven will be when one day I will be surrounded with Your immense love and mercy and my "forever" will be spent bowing down before You, worshiping and proclaiming Your holiness - joining in the perpetual adoration while all participate in the ongoing heavenly liturgy. How can I wait, Jesus? How can I live without gazing on You until that time when my soul should be called to eternal bliss?
Give me the patience to wait, Jesus, for Your glorious call, when You will stretch out Your hand and grasp mine and say, "Come, child, your days of sacrifice are over. Your earthly sojourn is finished. Come now, to the place I have prepared for you."
Jesus, prepare me for this day. Make me a strong disciple and a warrior for Your cause. Always turn my eyes to You and never may I gaze upon myself in pride. It is You I yearn for. You are my Savior, my King and my Only True Source of Joy. I love You, Jesus, with all my being. Amen.
Surely You have given me a real taste of what heaven will be when one day I will be surrounded with Your immense love and mercy and my "forever" will be spent bowing down before You, worshiping and proclaiming Your holiness - joining in the perpetual adoration while all participate in the ongoing heavenly liturgy. How can I wait, Jesus? How can I live without gazing on You until that time when my soul should be called to eternal bliss?
Give me the patience to wait, Jesus, for Your glorious call, when You will stretch out Your hand and grasp mine and say, "Come, child, your days of sacrifice are over. Your earthly sojourn is finished. Come now, to the place I have prepared for you."
Jesus, prepare me for this day. Make me a strong disciple and a warrior for Your cause. Always turn my eyes to You and never may I gaze upon myself in pride. It is You I yearn for. You are my Savior, my King and my Only True Source of Joy. I love You, Jesus, with all my being. Amen.
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