Once Again, The Suffering Becomes Meaningful

The terrible suffering I have endured recently because of the cruelty of the person who spoke so harshly to me has been with me daily since this person said those mean things to me. I have suffered immensely. I have lost sleep, shed many tears, and been very down at times. The human being has a great need for acceptance and love. When one is rejected and spoken harshly to, especially damned to hell by another person who was formerly a friend, it hurts a lot. The worst part is that the other person in this case does not care that he/she hurt me, nor does he/she feel that he/she wronged me by saying this. He/she feels justified and is probably feeling pretty good about himself at this time, rejoicing that he/she finally got rid of me from his/her life. That is the sad thing about the sin of pride. It makes the person feel righteous, rather than convicting the person.

While praying about it the other day, I once again recalled that for some years now, I have been asking God to let me suffer for the souls of priests. I know how Satan is attacking priests so much these days and how the Church is being attacked and thrust into the news all over the world. Satan loves this. So if I can help in a small way to atone for the sins of priests and help them regain heaven, I will do it. Suddenly, my painful emotions had a reason and I began to place them up on the cross with Jesus. I began to offer a prayer at the consecration of every single Mass I attended for the soul of a particular priest I know who I know is having difficulties. This helped ease the pain a little and it gave me a purpose for my suffering. God works in very sly ways, doesn't He?

The Word of God Brings Comfort to Me

I went to pray before the Blessed Sacrament and asked Jesus to comfort me in my sorrow after the person spoke those harsh words to me and told me to "go to hell." God led me to the following passage in scripture. It brought me the comfort that I needed at the time. God always reveals Himself to us in scripture.

"You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth and summonded from its far-off places, You whom I have and will not cast off - Fear not, I am with you;
I will strengthen you, and help you, and uphold you with my right hand of justice.

Yes, all shall be put to shame and disgrace who vent their anger against you; Those shall perish and come to nought who offer resistance. You shall seek out, but shall not find, those who strive against you; They shall be as nothing at all who do battle with you.

For I am the Lord, your God, who grasp your right hand; It is I who say to you, "Fear not, I will help you. Fear not, O worm Jacob, O maggot Israel; I will help you, says the Lord; your redeemer is the Holy One of Israel. I will make of you a threshing sledge, sharp, new, and double-edged, To thresh the mountains and crush them, to make the hills like chaff. When you winnow them, the wind shall carry them off and the storm shall scatter them. But you shall rejoice in the Lord, and glory in the Holy One of Israel.

The afflicted and the needy seek water in vain, their tongues are parched with thirst. I, the Lord, will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them." Is 41:9-17

"Go to Hell"

What does it mean when a person says this to another person? The other day someone said this in anger to me. No one had ever said this to me before in my lifetime. It made me cry for more than one day. I felt physically sick and could not sleep for two nights. I could not eat. I cried out to my God for comfort. I cried out, "Why Jesus? Why would someone say this to me? What does this mean?"

To wish hell on someone means that someone desires that the person will never see the face of God; one wishes that the other person will be in eternal punishment with Satan himself; perpetually denied God's promise of eternal life. It is the most cruel thing one can wish for another person. However, when I looked at the crucifix, I recalled that Jesus, too, suffered for the sins of his friends. And He asked God to forgive them as He hung on the cross. So I forgave him in my heart and asked Jesus to accept my pain for the soul of this person.

Update on Karim

I recently visited Lebanon to see in person how Karim is doing. I was pleasantly surprised to see that physically his disease is receding slowly. His feet were still about the same, although he walks all the time on them, painfully, but, still walking. He seemed upbeat, in spite of not attending school to date. His tutor still sees him once a week, although she has secured a full-time job in Beirut and is not able to see him as often as she did previously. She is a lovely young woman who is truly interested in Karim's progress. She is currently looking into getting him into a school there. If this happens, I will have to do some more fundraising.

Lebanon was again beautiful and the people very welcoming and hospitable. I reacquainted myself with my old friends and made some new friends. The Maronite people made me part of their family. I felt comfortable and at home once again. I stayed with a young family with a two-year-old girl who plays regularly with Karim, and a three-month-old baby boy. They were very good to me. I thank them for their hospitality and kindness.

I found that still no one is bringing Karim to the Mass. The family mentioned again that they want visitors from the parish for their son and they want him to go to the Mass with someone from the parish, but no one comes to bring him. This broke my heart to know that Karim has been denied the Mass and holy communion since earlier this year when the man who was bringing him moved to another country. I cried because of this terrible truth.

While I was in Lebanon, my friend and I brought Karim to see a priest in Beirut. This priest said Mass for us and heard Karim's confession. No priest had heard his confession since he had been in America a year before. I asked this priest to give him the sacrament of the anointing of the sick, which he also did very lovingly. So because of the goodness of one priest, Karim received three sacraments all in one day. Please pray for this priest. When I thanked this priest, he replied, "No need to thank me. I am a priest. This is what I do for God. I love being a priest."

Please pray every day for all our priests. They are under attack by Satan all the time. I offer my sufferings for priests, especially those that are under attack. We can offer our sufferings right on the cross with Jesus for the souls of priests. Sometimes they do not realize that they are under attack. This is when Satan wins.

Corpus Christi

We celebrate this feast today in the Church and the gospel reading is that of the feeding of the 5,000 with the multiplication of the loaves and fishes. I read it at least ten times as I circulated through the nursing home this morning. Each time I pondered the immensity of the meaning of this reading; how it so perfectly prefigured the gift of the Eucharist, I was blown away by God's generosity to His beloved people. He told the apostles to go and feed the people themselves, knowing full well that it would be later that indeed, He would give them the power to change the bread and wine into His Body and Blood so that believers could be fed with the Eucharist until the end of time. And this perfect gift would be the source of their spiritual life on earth, uniting them so perfectly with He Himself as completely as possible outside of heaven. The gospel became a teaching moment today as one of the residents asked me questions about the Eucharist and how it actually came about in the time of Christ. The Holy Spirit used my mouth to proclaim His teachings and I felt that this man had a better understanding of this insurmountable gift because of the time spent with him today. Thank you, Jesus for using me in this ministry.

The Holy Spirit

The Holy Spirit is a gentleman. He never forces His gifts upon anyone, but he gently offers them to us. To those that are open, much is received. Some are never open, and never know what they are missing; nor do they even care.

Of course the Isaiahan gifts that we receive in confirmation are always the most important gifts and are given the highest recognition. These are the gifts of Wisdom, Fortitude, Fear of the Lord, Counsel, Piety, Knowledge and Understanding. All who are confirmed receive these gifts and we should pray to the Holy Spirit to increase these gifts daily in our lives.

Some years back I became involved with a small charismatic prayer group and through the Franciscan University of Steubenville, some charismatic priests and my prayer group, I found a much deeper relationship with Jesus through my newfound knowledge and relationship with the Holy Spirit. Along with this relationship with the Holy Spirit came an introduction to the charismatic gifts of the Holy Spirit that are found in the New Testament, particularly in 1 Corinthians Chapters 12 and 13. Some of these gifts are the gift of tongues, interpretation of tongues, the gift of prophecy, the gift of healing, teaching and discernment of spirits.

When I stepped into the charismatic world (which is promoted and condoned by the Catholic Church, and was a big part of the life of Pope John Paul II) my prayer life became so much more fruitful. I experienced oneness with Jesus like I had never experienced before. Sometimes His presence was so real that I didn't know if I was dreaming or not.

My reason for sharing this is just to encourage any readers to be open to different types of Catholic prayer. Prayer doesn't have to be dull and always memorized rote words. It can be an "encounter" with the living Christ. Step out of your comfort zones and enter into one on one conversation with the best friend you will ever have, Jesus Christ. Pour your heart out to Him and then sit and just listen for His response. You may be surprised how beautiful a different type of prayer can be. God bless you all.

What Can I Give My God and King?

Each day my Lord surprises me with something more wonderful than the day before. It might be the smell of a lilac tree as I walk through the yard, or it might be a smile on the face of one of the students in the school at which I work. There is beauty around me all over the place, just waiting to be discovered and recognized. When I take the time to notice it, I know immediately, that it is God's gift to me. I thank Him and smile at His goodness and kindness toward me; a humble servant.

When in prayer I often ask Him, "What can I give you, Lord? I have nothing much to give You." Of course when one receives such generous and loving gifts from above, there is always a desire to give back to the King of Kings. What can I give? I contemplated this question and came up with a few simple answers. I can give my words of love in prayer whenever I think of Jesus, which should be almost continually. The Scriptures tell us to pray constantly. I can give Him a smile when I smile at another human being; particularly one who doesn't often receive smiles. This is the most precious of smiles. I can give Him my hands when I touch the handicapped and poor, for some are repulsed by such as these. He Himself touched the lepers when He healed them and rubbed his fingers on the eyes of the blind in order to restore their sight. This touch is like the touch of smooth silk on a rough hand; gentle and soothing. I can give Him my words of encouragement when I offer love and compassion to someone who is hurting, or when I forgive those who have hurt me. These are the words He longs to hear. They warm His heart. These are the words He invited us to say when He walked the earth.

So, my gifts may not be great and showy. No one may ever see my gifts besides me. But, God receives them and He alone acknowledges them. These are perhaps the greatest of the gifts He receives because they are the ones given in secret. Yes, Lord, I will continue to offer these little tiny tokens of my immense love for you each day of my life. This is all I have to give. But, I offer it all to You. For all I have is to offer You this gift of love that I can give away to others. And with this gift of love, I receive joy in serving You.